bloodprayer | ic contact

yeah.
i mean i guess i sort of get it. like
im not gonna bother trying to figure out most of that stuff while im here unless i have to
my futures still back home, im not trying to build a life here
cuz if none of this is real real that just isnt even possible
but im from a small town so
i still wanna know what its like to live in a city
most ppl dont know me or have expectations about who or what i need to be
so like whats the harm right

[ Reggie's grown up sheltered in his own way, also never really having to question who he is or what he's gonna be -- apart from what his parents want -- or even, in depth, what he wants to be, so confident though he seems, his identity has mostly been built around superficial status and accomplishments that won't apply to him forever. Eventually he'll have to figure out what he wants be,to do with his life, but for now... nah. He wants to enjoy the time he has left before it's time to grow up. ]

sucks about ur family tho
my dad can be kind of a dick too
i mean i think most dads are but
idk
at least they never kicked me out

[ Would they, ever? Reggie isn't sure. Even if things got really bad, he'd probably run away first before they'd go that far; he is their only son. No matter how disappointed or angry they might get, he doesn't know what line he'd have to cross to make them disown him.

But anyway, quickly moving on from mommy/daddy issues... ]

but challenged accepted bro ;)
ngl i could use a few laughs anyway
sounds like u could too

i think that's a really smart way of thinking about all of this. do what you can and have fun with whatever comes your way. live how you want until you go home for good.
that's all i want to do, too.
self-discovery aside.

[ it's a shame that reggie doesn't want to build a life here, if only because michael takes it to mean that he won't treat any of his relationships here as - real? and that's unsettling, to michael, who so desperately craves attention and validation from the people he likes. to think he could put all his affection into reggie and be told at the end of it that their friendship isn't real - it scares michael to think about, so he just... doesn't. ]

yeah. it's okay. thank you. sorry for sharing all of that.
dads are the worst.
my therapist was kind of like a dad. we played catch and everything.
but he turned out to be a dick too, so.
maybe dudes just weren't meant to have kids.
anyway.

anyway anyway anyway.
ok.
tonight!
hrghrghgh!
get pumped!

surprisingly most ppl dont agree w/ u
but yeah, it is smart
summer camp rules, yknow
whatever happens here stays here
& then afterwards u move on

[ It's what Reggie says, and certainly what he thinks he wants -- what he thinks is the smartest approach to take here -- but as a plan it really only works in theory. He's still here while he's here, which means his mind and his emotions still function as normal; whether or not the relationships he makes here aren't supposed to be real or important, they will be anyway. Even if only here, in this little vacuum of reality.

But that's the hardest part to accept, maybe-- that something can be temporary yet still meaningful. Summer camp rules tend to demand the opposite... but you usually still do remember summer camp afterward. If they won't rememeber any of this, if it'll just be like it never even happened again once they're home, how meaningful can it really be? ]

my boss is a therapist

[ And also kind of like a dad; Reggie thinks of him a bit as such, if not in such a direct way. Still also kind of a dick, but a much better dad-figure than Reggie's real dad. Not that Reggie's going to make any further comment to that point-- maybe dads are (or can be) the worst, but he still has too much respect for his own to say so. ]

& hes all right
not MY therapist tho
seems like kind of a bad idea to get that close to ur own doctor

dw im already pumped
ill start getting ready

yeah.

[ michael being abnormal was what lead to constance's death, so there are a couple of alarm bells ringing in his head when reggie says this whole live fast die young thing doesn't have a lot of traction outside the two of them, but. so what? even if most people don't agree with him, reggie does, and that means more to him than anything else. he thrives under conditions like these. ]

oh, that's cool. you're right, though. going to him would be a pretty bad idea.
i don't need therapy anymore, so. i won't make things weird and messy between us by trying to talk to him, either.
you don't really strike me as someone who needs it, anyway? therapy, i mean.
i feel like you could fix anything that was getting in your way. all by yourself.
'cause you're a badass, like i said.

but okay, uh. i still don't know where you live.
you wanna meet up somewhere, or can i come over this time?

well im not saying see him or DONT see him
like yeah maybe itd be a little weird but its his job
and my job, sort of
its not up to me who his patients are

[ Not that Reggie necessarily wants to be friends with people who are seeing his boss as patients, or just in therapy at all, but Michael wouldn't be the first one. Reggie's reassured as intended, though, especially when Michael goes on to say how much Reggie seems like he doesn't need therapy. Exactly what he's been saying all this time! ]

i am pretty badass
never needed therapy in my life and also never will
solving my own problems is exactly what i do

[ Or... creating them, making them worse... so on.

Speaking of which. Reggie bites the corner of his lip, debating on if he should give Michael his address, but then he decides to just go ahead; he texts it over. ]

ugh, no.
grief counselling was one thing when i needed it, but seriously, therapy's not for me.

[ that's all he says about that. the last thing he needs is to go through actual, genuine therapy again. it didn't end well for him last time, and the thought of putting himself back in a position where someone will give up on him as a lost cause is maybe the most repugnant thought he could have.

but hey, enough about that. reggie agrees he's a badass and that makes michael laugh, sending off a quick baddest ass i know followed by an even quicker uh, that wasn't a comment on how bad your ass is, your ass is the best, and then he takes reggie's address, immediately and hungrily committing it to memory. he tells reggie he'll be over soon and locks his phone, getting his shit ready and heading over.

it's in his head that he needs to make his first trip over to reggie's as painless and as minimally awkward as he can, so he's brought two big bottles of smirnoff ice he swiped from someone he tested his powers on and some weed that his kiiiind of unprofessional boss gave him in exchange for doing unpaid overtime. it's not for tonight, though they can break into it all if that's what reggie wants - it's just, you know. couple of presents. for a friend. given to them in the totally normal hope that they'll like him more if he just plies them up with the right shit.

he knocks on reggie's door with his foot, his hands too full carrying this shit to do it. he's holding it all out in front of him when reggie eventually answers. ]

Hi. For you.

right
well, glad to hear it
i deal w/ enough crazy ppl in my life as it is

[ And, as he's getting ready, he probably sends back a few quasi-flirty responses to Michael's comments about his ass ( "its true but dont think im gonna put out again just over a little flattery ;P" ) (though he would, and has, and likely will again). Getting ready is a pretty easy process; Reggie mostly just needs to shower and change, and then do his hair. That'll take the longest.

He's combing the gel in when Michael knocks. Reggie gets the door, dressed nicely but casually for their intended night out in a tight black t-shirt and similarly tight jeans, his black eye faded by now to a dark smudge around his left eye; still there, but not quite so vivid to keep suffering wearing sunglasses indoors. He stares at Michael as if he's being offered flowers, blankly and in mild surprise, but he accepts the smirnoff and puts it inside; accepts the weed and pockets it, for now. ]

Uh. Thanks? [ He runs a hand through his hair, glancing at the smirnoff. ] So d'you wanna like, come inside, or should we just--?

[ Michael isn't dressed half as well as Reggie, in some shitty plaid yellow number over a white tanktop and terrible mustard pants, but hey, clothes are clothes. Reggie doesn't look all that excited by his welcome back gifts, and Michael feels a brief flutter of panic in his chest as he wonders if he's done something wrong. He figured Reggie would love some free booze, partially because of how into vodka he was the other night and partially because Michael sucked at getting real drinks before and figured this might lead to a compliment on what a cool dude he's becoming, and his boss sold him a pretty strong sales pitch on why weed is better than any money he could've earned from overtime. But.

Whatever? It is what it is. If he's coming on too strong, he doesn't notice. He never does, not completely. He takes a deep breath, rubs his shoulder to ease out some of the tension and smiles at Reggie, big and wide. ]

I'll totally come inside. [ He stands on his toes to look over Reggie's shoulder, curious about the inside of his place and maybe just a little bit interested in creeping through his shit. Thankfully, he realizes that Reggie wasn't really extending an invitation so much as just being polite, so he drops his feet flat against the ground again, not really sure what to do next. Kind of hard to game someone into liking you when you don't know what they want. ]

Or - maybe we should go hang out? And... you can invite me back later tonight? If you want to?

[ Said - with - cautious optimism? ]

[ Reggie lingers in the doorway while he waits for Michael to answer, not necessarily opposed to the idea of pre-gaming a little here before they go out, but also trying to suss out Michael's intentions a bit more. He does like the gifts, but what are they really for? He's surprised by the fact Michael brought anything at all.

But maybe he shouldn't be. Michael is awkward, though strangely endearing, and somehow charming at times because of it. He says you can invite me back later tonight if you want to and Reggie raises his eyebrow, grinning at him a bit more openly. ]

Yeah. Maybe later you can come inside. We'll see.

[ That might be innuendo, or it might not be. Reggie steps outside and shuts the door behind him before Michael can peek in any more (not that there's much of interest to see from the front door), casually slapping Michael on the ass as he walks past towards his car. ]

Depends on how well you'll be able to keep up tonight.

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